Brad Paisley: Letter To Me

Brad Paisley writes and records a number of outstanding songs, and it seems like the well of inspiration and creativity is bottomless since he is so consistent with releasing not just music, but life-changing, powerful and highly entertaining music. His latest song, Letter To Me, has been making a profound impact on me of late, and I wanna share it with you. Click here for the lyrics, and here to watch the video.

There are a number of things about this song that have been hittin' at me pretty hard over the last few weeks, and in fact just this morning I woke up with a line of the chorus rolling over and over in my mind. You know, sometimes that's just annoying, but other times it seems to be refreshing, motivating and uplifting. Today it was the latter. I'll not cover it all, but below is a list detailing a few of the lines in the song that either bring back memories or cause me to appreciate both my life and the life of my boys playing out in front of me. Let me know what you think about the song and if it does for you what it does for me...

"If I could write a letter to me,
and send it back in time to myself at seventeen,
first I'd prove it's me by sayin', look under your bed,
there's a Skoal can and a Playboy, no one else would know you hid"

Well, by seventeen chew and porn was out of my system, but I remember the feelings associated with each and just laugh about it today. I had a tree house in the back yard where I kept my Skoal, and chewed it even though I thought it was gross and made me sick because I thought it would make me cool with the neighborhood boys. I was pretty good at hidin' the porn, too, and only got caught with it "under my bed" once. I was humiliated. But, again, although the sight of a naked woman is quite naturally impressive to young manhood, I'd say my biggest reason for looking was like the Skoal, to "be cool". One porn story that still cracks me up, though, is the video one of my gal-pals from Messina found in her parents room and brought to school. No, it wasn't homemade, but it was old as all get out and quite hilarious. We got a lot of giggles out of that one...

"and then I'd say I know it's tough
when you break up after 7 months
and yeah I know you really liked her and it just doesn't seem fair
but all I can say is pain like that is fast and it's rare"

How crazy is it to be a teenager navigating the dark and mysterious waters of dating life. Most of the girls I went with were quite superficial, and our times together were more hangin' out than anything deep and meaningful. I only had a couple of "serious" relationships to speak of, but mostly I was overcome with the nervousness and shyness typical to those of us who weren't a.) The Quarterback, b.) The Hunk, or c.) Mr. Personality. As a matter of fact, I didn't even come close to any of those (well, I did play QB in practice a few times in Junior High, but soon got relegated to fullback because I wasn't as good throwing the ball on the field as I was in my head!), so I missed a lot, I think. But I do remember how it felt going to school dances, going to the movies, going to parties, all full of leaving the house with big plans, and coming home with bigger regrets.

"And oh, you got so much goin' for you, goin' right
but I know, at 17, it's hard to see past Friday night..."

This is what I woke up with this morning, and have been thinkin' most about recently. I think this one mostly hits me concerning my boys. Yeah, I'd like to let myself know back then as a teenager that even when things seemed to be difficult, there was a foundation being laid for my life and the person I am today is built upon not just the successes but also the failures of that time. My boys are 11 & 9, and as I watch them mature and enter into the next stage in their development I just want to speak encouragement and enthusiasm into their lives. My oldest will be in middle school next year, and oh how I remember things changing in 6th, 7th and 8th grade for me. Middle school is like the blast at the start of a roller coaster; one minute your sitting still in elementary school, playing GI Joe's and watching Inspector Gadget, the next moment you're hurled from 0 to 60 in a flash and you hit high school with all of its' loop-de-loops and barrel-rolls and corkscrews and end up an adult with wild hair, teary eyes and a "what the hell just happened" expression on your face. The only difference is you can't go back and do it all again. But one thing you, and I, can do is to be there for the next group about to ride. I'll tell my boys to buckle up, it's gonna be bumpy; keep your eyes open 'cause you won't wanna miss the views; scream without inhibition because you're allowed and it's a high different than any you'll ever experience (not necessarily better, just different); and don't be timid, just stay safe.

"each and every time you have a fight
just assume you're wrong and daddy's right"

For me it was mom, but that's not important just now. What is important is the fact that her reasoning was based on a parent's love, and not with malicious intent. As much as I thought otherwise, her disagreements with me weren't out of ill-will, but rather out of an "I've been there before, I just wanna help you avoid my mistakes" attitude. In a lot of ways, I wish I'd known then what I know now. The best way for me to describe it is like this: if you've ever done something for your kids that they had no idea you'd done, and then stand back and watch them enjoy this seemingly gratuitous blessing with no thanks whatsoever, and it doesn't bother you, then you know what a parent's love is all about. It could be something simple like putting a cookie by the X-Box 360, or risking life and limb to climb down the steep hill behind the house to retrieve a basketball while they're gone, just because in a few hours they'll be there and wish they could find it. That's what it's all about, and I've come to realize that as many times as I've done things like this for my boys, 1000 more have been done for me by my mom. I'll just insert a line to mom here: Mom, I didn't see 'em then, but I do now. Thanks for everything you gave and did that I didn't even know came from you. That's love.

"And you should really thank Miss Brinkman
she spent so much extra time
It's like she sees the diamond underneath
and she's polishin' you till you shine"

I can't help but imagine a gangly, teenage Brad Paisley struggling with a song in choir, or a guitar lesson, frustrated as all get-out, and just a few feet away is a dedicated teacher knowing that beyond the missed notes and off-key vocals is a star. I know not every kid is destined to be a music, sports or Hollywood star, but I wonder how many would achieve greatness if someone helped them hone their skills and talents to a high-degree. I wonder how many falter beneath the load they carry alone, with no one shouting encouragement to them through the pain. This is such a meaningful part of the song, and one I wanna be sure to catch.

"You got so much up ahead, you'll make new friends,
you should see your kids and wife
and I'll end by sayin' have no fear, these are nowhere near
the best years of your life"

Wow. So many songs have painted an attitude of looking back with regret and missin' our younger years. I honestly say that for me the view in this song is closer to the truth. My life is at an all-time high right now, and though I'd love to go back and relive a few things , I wouldn't wanna go back for good. I forged a lot of friendships in those years, most of which are gone, but the ones that remain are priceless. Jeremy Abel is one of the best mates a guy could ask for, but his kind is rare. I've made a lot of new friends to go along with Jabel, and most of the ones I had back then have gone on in other directions, probably to never be close to again. Oh, and as much as I enjoyed a few of my baseball seasons, I wouldn't give up one of my sons games just to be able to go back and relive my own. I have an unbelievable amount of more fun at their games than I ever had in mine, but if you'd have told me that when I was 15 I'd have said you were crazy. But I would've been wrong, for sure. My guys make bein' 32 the best year of my life, and it just gets better as we go along.

"p.s. go hug aunt Rita every chance you get..."

This one brought tears to my eyes as I remembered my papaw Phillips. The death of a close loved one seems to happen so quickly, and for me there was no amount of preparation I could've made to handle losing Papaw. By far the strongest male influence of my life, I still feel lost to this day at times without him. But I soon regain my composure as I realize he wouldn't want it that way. He'd want me to suck it up and be a man, and handle my problems the way he handled his, with grit, determination, tenacity and a will to live. Thanks, Papaw, I just wish I'd have hugged you a few more times before I had to say goodbye...

Maybe someday I'll take Brad Paisley's advice and write a letter to myself. I'm sure it'd be therapeutic in a lot of ways, and I'd probably have to white out a few lines for fear of it falling into the wrong hands. But one things for certain: it sure is a good feeling being alive, and I don't want to let one moment pass without being thankful that I've been given this privilege. To all my friends and family, I'll say I love you here, and thanks for being such a blessing to me. All of you. Now let's go live the rest of our lives!