Hooters...Modified

Sometimes you read the news, and an article just gets right up in your face and won't move. Yeah, well, I read one of those yesterday. It's this piece I read about the opening of a Hooters restaurant in Israel. Something about that just cracks me up. Perhaps it's my inability to think of Isreael in any other frame of mind than Sunday school, and therefore an article like this makes me think thoughts like "God is really gonna be pissed about this".

If you've never been to a Hooters restaurant, just know that it's not an owlery. No, birds are nowhere to be found there, and you'll not be viewing any Blue-footed booby's (though the ones with white tennis shoes you'll see aplenty). Anyhow, the point of the post today is how hilarious the line in the article that said the owner expected there'd be "some minor modifications to meet Israeli tastes".

Hooters...modified.

What will they change? Boobs are boobs are boobs are boobs. Will they be wearing shirts that aren't as tight? Will their shorts be a shade longer? Is there really any point? I don't plan on going to a place like Hooters to see waitresses dressed like they're at Applebee's...I mean, that's the whole point, right? Oh, I almost forgot...we all go to Hooter's for the hot wings. My bad.

Now according to Holy Writ, this is not uncommon in Isreal. In David's time they must've had a similar establishment, at which place a sultry server named Bathsheba was employed. It all makes sense now...the king of Israel was just hungry for hot wings when he inadvertently stepped into the dressing room of the local Teats (thank you, King James). Bathsheba was new, mistook the job description that told her she was supposed to give service, and the rest, as they say, is history.

Teats was the place for the deer-hunter, though, as Solomon so wisely pointed out when he told one of the servers:

Thy two breasts are like two young roes that are twins.

I could go on and on, but I think it's best I stop for now. Just make sure somebody remembers that I predict the rise of the Antichrist very soon, now that the Holy Land is hoe'ing it up BIG time.