I found this over on Jabel's site, so I thought I'd put it here and contribute to its circulation.
Sunday, November 06, 2005
Thursday, November 03, 2005
Mommy Dearest
Today is my mom's birthday. Beth Ann Phillips (now Feldman) was born on November 3, 1957, and I'm sure somewhere an angelic choir could be heard. No, 'twas not an immaculate conception-she was just born to common folks and raised in the ordinary town of Springville. There were not any plans to eventually crown her for a role in world leadership-her life was, like the most of us, simply to be charted by Chance and Opportunity. Wise men from afar didn't show up on Spencer Pike to laud her and offer expensive gifts-just visits by the friends and family of her parents, also common people.
If her entry into the world seemed a bit inauspicious and foretold of no certain greatness, her youth and beyond proved to follow-up with more of the same. The stories of her childhood offer a glimpse into a life full of typical accidents, unique in their own right, but nothing extraordinary to speak of. I hear tales of one somewhat strong-willed, a bit rebellious, and very pretty, but of great records and feats, none to speak of.
But if my purpose appears to be in belittling her, that perception is a false one. In fact, nothing could be further from the truth. I merely wanted to give a preface to one of the more amazing stories I've ever known, and show that no matter how small the beginning may have been, the latter years of her life have proven to be absolutely enchanting. Goddess-like, even.
On April 22, 1975 a baby was born to her. In many respects it could have been perceived as an intruder and dealt with as such, seeing that she was just 17. There were nearly 1,000,000 abortions in that year, and that methods popularity was on a sharp increase. I have no idea if she ever considered this option, or if she was counselled to do so, but I'm glad she didn't. Adoption was another avenue she could have taken, and I'm not certain if it ever came to her mind either, but I'm glad she didn't do it. My aim is not at all political, just thankfulness, because in either case I would've been deprived of what I consider to be the one of the greatest benefits of my life-knowing the lady I call mom.
My childhood was spent in the care of a single parent. I know it must have been hard for her more times than it was easy, but as I look back I never recall feeling like I didn't belong. It amazes me because I'm sure there was no way I could have shown appreciation back then to the extent I can now, because I was unable to process the miracle happening in front of my eyes for what it was really worth. The sacrifices, the life-altering responsibilities, the sheer difficulty in trying to care for a son while still trying to find her own purpose and place in the world, it all must have been overwhelming at times. But if it was, I have no bad memories to share because she never even hinted at any hardships to me. Amazing.
She taught me to swim. It was in the Atlantic Ocean and I was about 6 years old. This is one memory I can't escape from, and that she swears to this day wasn't as bad as I let on. All I remember is being what seemed like miles from shore in a boiling, churning sea and let go and told to swim back, I could make it...and I recall the tears I shed! Well, regardless of the facts, I learned to swim, and have no fear, only respect, of the water to this day. I owe her for that.
She let me get involved in sports. From my earliest days I remember being involved in extracurricular activities. Baseball, basketball, football, soccer and eventually tennis. Not to mention the various other Boys Club events and school recreations. I didn't appreciate it enough then, but now that I have two of my own I recognize the amount of time and effort that goes into coordinating and transporting and paying for it all. It must have been tough, but I never recall being told I was too much of a burden and should just learn to play at home. I owe her for that.
She promoted in my life a love of reading. She bought me books, she signed me up for the Weekly Reader, and for my fascination with all things sports she even scored me a subscription to Sports Illustrated and other related magazines. We had televesion, and eventually I got a computer replete with a myriad of games, but she had already instilled in me a passion for the printed word. To this day I'm more often found reading than watching tv or playing video games. I owe her for that.
In my adult life she has taught me to be open-minded and respectful of others. She's given sage advice on money management and business practices. She's been there for me in the biggest philosophical wranglings of my life, and listened attentively to my personal dilemmas. She's the best nanna ("grandmother") to my boys that I could possibly ask for. She beams when she sees Boston & Britain, she dotes on them, and I stand back with a lump in my throat at the love she has for them. I owe her for all of this, too.
But today it's her birthday, and I struggle with what to say and do for her to recognize how important she is to me. I look upon her as the embodiment and epitome of "'tis better to give than to receive". If I could afford them even a Bentley and an island in the Caribbean wouldn't be enough to scratch the surface of the debt I owe to her. I'm neither scholarly nor skilled with words enough to offer her sufficient verbal praise. All I can offer is the fullest love that I as an appreciative son can give, and marvel at its inadequacy.
Mom, when you read this, just know that I love you with all my heart, and that I'm proud to be your son. I don't feel obligated to return favors to you because that would cheapen our relationship, but I do have a strong desire to make you proud and express my fascination for the woman you are.
If her entry into the world seemed a bit inauspicious and foretold of no certain greatness, her youth and beyond proved to follow-up with more of the same. The stories of her childhood offer a glimpse into a life full of typical accidents, unique in their own right, but nothing extraordinary to speak of. I hear tales of one somewhat strong-willed, a bit rebellious, and very pretty, but of great records and feats, none to speak of.
But if my purpose appears to be in belittling her, that perception is a false one. In fact, nothing could be further from the truth. I merely wanted to give a preface to one of the more amazing stories I've ever known, and show that no matter how small the beginning may have been, the latter years of her life have proven to be absolutely enchanting. Goddess-like, even.
On April 22, 1975 a baby was born to her. In many respects it could have been perceived as an intruder and dealt with as such, seeing that she was just 17. There were nearly 1,000,000 abortions in that year, and that methods popularity was on a sharp increase. I have no idea if she ever considered this option, or if she was counselled to do so, but I'm glad she didn't. Adoption was another avenue she could have taken, and I'm not certain if it ever came to her mind either, but I'm glad she didn't do it. My aim is not at all political, just thankfulness, because in either case I would've been deprived of what I consider to be the one of the greatest benefits of my life-knowing the lady I call mom.
My childhood was spent in the care of a single parent. I know it must have been hard for her more times than it was easy, but as I look back I never recall feeling like I didn't belong. It amazes me because I'm sure there was no way I could have shown appreciation back then to the extent I can now, because I was unable to process the miracle happening in front of my eyes for what it was really worth. The sacrifices, the life-altering responsibilities, the sheer difficulty in trying to care for a son while still trying to find her own purpose and place in the world, it all must have been overwhelming at times. But if it was, I have no bad memories to share because she never even hinted at any hardships to me. Amazing.
She taught me to swim. It was in the Atlantic Ocean and I was about 6 years old. This is one memory I can't escape from, and that she swears to this day wasn't as bad as I let on. All I remember is being what seemed like miles from shore in a boiling, churning sea and let go and told to swim back, I could make it...and I recall the tears I shed! Well, regardless of the facts, I learned to swim, and have no fear, only respect, of the water to this day. I owe her for that.
She let me get involved in sports. From my earliest days I remember being involved in extracurricular activities. Baseball, basketball, football, soccer and eventually tennis. Not to mention the various other Boys Club events and school recreations. I didn't appreciate it enough then, but now that I have two of my own I recognize the amount of time and effort that goes into coordinating and transporting and paying for it all. It must have been tough, but I never recall being told I was too much of a burden and should just learn to play at home. I owe her for that.
She promoted in my life a love of reading. She bought me books, she signed me up for the Weekly Reader, and for my fascination with all things sports she even scored me a subscription to Sports Illustrated and other related magazines. We had televesion, and eventually I got a computer replete with a myriad of games, but she had already instilled in me a passion for the printed word. To this day I'm more often found reading than watching tv or playing video games. I owe her for that.
In my adult life she has taught me to be open-minded and respectful of others. She's given sage advice on money management and business practices. She's been there for me in the biggest philosophical wranglings of my life, and listened attentively to my personal dilemmas. She's the best nanna ("grandmother") to my boys that I could possibly ask for. She beams when she sees Boston & Britain, she dotes on them, and I stand back with a lump in my throat at the love she has for them. I owe her for all of this, too.
But today it's her birthday, and I struggle with what to say and do for her to recognize how important she is to me. I look upon her as the embodiment and epitome of "'tis better to give than to receive". If I could afford them even a Bentley and an island in the Caribbean wouldn't be enough to scratch the surface of the debt I owe to her. I'm neither scholarly nor skilled with words enough to offer her sufficient verbal praise. All I can offer is the fullest love that I as an appreciative son can give, and marvel at its inadequacy.
Mom, when you read this, just know that I love you with all my heart, and that I'm proud to be your son. I don't feel obligated to return favors to you because that would cheapen our relationship, but I do have a strong desire to make you proud and express my fascination for the woman you are.
Wednesday, November 02, 2005
The Week That Was...
I've had a wild and zany few days away from my (quickly becoming) safe-haven blogspot, so I'll just jot down some errant thoughts to recap, lest I forget...err, frogget!
I went with P.C. (see The Elderly Files) and a gal named Kim on Friday to see Romeo et Juliette. Twas a marvelous experience, one I'd love to duplicate so I can once again be mesmerized by the dazzling display of matchless romantic love...ahh, the French language is a perfect vehicle for passionate expressions! (Now, if I could just learn more than Voulez-vous coucher avec moi, ce soir?) The zaniest moment of the night was when I asked P.C. how to score an opera babe (I actually said that to a nonagenarian!). He said, as only he can, something like this: "Well, look at what's different between you and me. I'm wearing a tuxedo, and I have the look of one going to the opera. You, on the other hand, look as though you might be off to a basketball game (I was wearing dress slacks, a rather dapper Tommy Hilfiger multi-colored shirt and a sport coat, thank you very much!). The secret is in dressing for success." Well, I'll have to remember that one. I did find, curiously enough, that Kim was born on precisely the same DAY I was back in '75...neat.
Over the weekend I did finish (finally) Volume 32 of The Harvard Classics. The book closes with Immanuel Kant's Fundamental Principles of the Metaphysic of Morals. Kant was, curiously enough once again, born on my birthdate, albeit 251 years prior! I must admit I'd have to delve deeper to fully appreciate his work, seeing that at times I can be quite the superficial reader. I did read several items of interest to me, one of which I'll leave for you to ponder:
I went with P.C. (see The Elderly Files) and a gal named Kim on Friday to see Romeo et Juliette. Twas a marvelous experience, one I'd love to duplicate so I can once again be mesmerized by the dazzling display of matchless romantic love...ahh, the French language is a perfect vehicle for passionate expressions! (Now, if I could just learn more than Voulez-vous coucher avec moi, ce soir?) The zaniest moment of the night was when I asked P.C. how to score an opera babe (I actually said that to a nonagenarian!). He said, as only he can, something like this: "Well, look at what's different between you and me. I'm wearing a tuxedo, and I have the look of one going to the opera. You, on the other hand, look as though you might be off to a basketball game (I was wearing dress slacks, a rather dapper Tommy Hilfiger multi-colored shirt and a sport coat, thank you very much!). The secret is in dressing for success." Well, I'll have to remember that one. I did find, curiously enough, that Kim was born on precisely the same DAY I was back in '75...neat.
Over the weekend I did finish (finally) Volume 32 of The Harvard Classics. The book closes with Immanuel Kant's Fundamental Principles of the Metaphysic of Morals. Kant was, curiously enough once again, born on my birthdate, albeit 251 years prior! I must admit I'd have to delve deeper to fully appreciate his work, seeing that at times I can be quite the superficial reader. I did read several items of interest to me, one of which I'll leave for you to ponder:
We cannot therefore act on any definite principles
to secure happiness, but only on empirical counsels,
ex. gr., of regimen, frugality, courtesy, reserve, &c.,
which experience teaches do, on the average, most
promote well-being.
----------------------------------------------------
----------------------------------------------------
After Kant was the small work by Giuseppe Mazzini on Byron and Goethe. For me this was a very pleasant read, and not a few of his lines are noteworthy. For sake of brevity, though, I'll offer a few without comment:
Human judgment, like Luther's drunken peasant,
when saved from falling on one side, too
often topples over on the other.
One very much overrated critic writes that
"Byron makes man after his own image,
and woman after his own heart: the one
is a capricious tyrant, the other a
yielding slave.
...love is no more, desire
has taken its place...
It seems as if they were doomed to drag the
broken links of the chain they have burst
asunder, riveted to their feet.
They fall unwept, like a withered leaf
into the stream of time.
Goethe's altar is spread with the choicest
flowers, the most exquisite perfumes, teh
first-fruits of nature: but the Priest is wanting.
I then moved on to Volume 33, Voyages And Travels: Ancient And Modern. The first segment is by Herodotus and is his An Account of Egypt. I'll just say this, its interesting to see how much sex played a role in the Egypt he wrote about. Let's just say it would seem to rival, or outstrip even our day!
Saturday night I ventured out to another good ol' time at the Downtown Tavern for a bit o' fun with the Junk boys. The costume party was wild and crazy (nothing new for DT) and the band was exceptional, as always. For the record I went as a doctor, fully decked out in scrubs and a lab coat...but no patients were willing to have a diagnosis or exam! What was nuts was when I went into Wal-mart just prior to going to the club. It's a damn shame to watch how differently people treat you when they think you're an M.D.! I swear half the people in the place didn't even realize it was so close to Halloween, therefore they had no clue it was just a get-up...and I played along. Seriously, you should try it sometime. (I think next time I'll go as drag-queen...that'd liven 'em up in my town, for sure!).
Yesterday and today has been spent in work, work, work...30 hours between the two, so I must say I'm exhausted and a bit brain-warped. At the office we're just about ready to occupy our gargantuan new building, so a lot of preparation is going into that. We've been plugging away in anticipation of this week for a loooooong time, and now that it's here, it all seems surreal. I hate to have to move into the snazzy new digs, but hey, it's a tough job, but somefroggy's gotta do it!
Tuesday, November 01, 2005
My Harry Potter Wishlist
Just a few more days and the mad dash will be on to view Harry Potter And The Goblet Of Fire. I must confess that I'm a late comer in the HP world, having like so many who erroneously heaped shame and scorn on all who partook of it and yet claimed to be Christian! If I feel like it, I'll humiliate myself on that further at a later time, but for now I have an agenda. Christmas is coming soon ("Hark! The Herals Angels Sing!"...props to you and your love of Christmas music, Jabel) and I need to blog my wants and wishes for the season for those of you who are compelled to lavish gifts upon me. Actually, what follows is of utmost importance, for with just a few of these items checked off I'll have no need of further presents. From 10 to 1 I'll rank what I want that I've read in the Harry Potter series, and you can feel free to choose as you will, and as your budget allows. Here goes:
10. Quidditch Set
09. Room Of Requirement
08. Hogwarts, A History
07. Time-Turner
06. Portkey
05. Marauder's Map
04. Firebolt
03. Floo Powder
02. Wand (preferably the one that chooses me...)
01. Invisibility Cloak
For good measure, please throw in a pack of Chocolate Frogs and some Bertie Botts Every-Flavor-Beans for my stocking. Thanks.
10. Quidditch Set
09. Room Of Requirement
08. Hogwarts, A History
07. Time-Turner
06. Portkey
05. Marauder's Map
04. Firebolt
03. Floo Powder
02. Wand (preferably the one that chooses me...)
01. Invisibility Cloak
For good measure, please throw in a pack of Chocolate Frogs and some Bertie Botts Every-Flavor-Beans for my stocking. Thanks.
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